Dear Mr. Nice Guy,

I'm sorry that I haven't returned any of your phone calls or listened to a single one of the numerous voicemails that you have left for me. You have great intentions, and it is sweet that you want to go on sober dates and do things like take me to plays and cook me dinner. Unfortunetly for everyone involved, it turns out that I am only attracted to boys with gratuitous tats, gambling addictions, hankerings for illegal substances, criminal records, no direction in life, and a general disregard for others.

Better luck next time,

G

Dear Which Wich,

I chose you over going to the zoo with Mr.Nice guy. Every bite was worth it.

I love you,
A

Dear Mr. Nice Guy,

You are an ultra conservative who doesn't believe in a God and prefers to maintain a certain decorum in public. We simply will not work. Stop trying to charm me with flattery and that cute smile of yours.

Much Appreciated,
A

Dear Mr.Nice Guy,

You're smothering me again. You're cute though.

I Guess I'll Keep you Around,
A

Dear Mr.Nice Guy,

I can't believe I actually called you out on your poor texting skills the other day. Sometimes I think my word vomit is abnormal. I told you to start proofreading from now on before messaging me. You blamed it on T9. A greeting is not a 15-pager due in 10 minutes and you havent even cited your references yet. There really is no excuse. Today you sent me two facebook messages and both of them were written hastily. I'm not trying to be picky here (ok, I'm extremely picky), but half the time your missives are so ridden with mistakes that I can't even figure out what point you are trying to get across. You hail from such a prestigious university, yet have poorer grammatical composition than myself.

Work On That,
A

Dear Mr.Nice Guy,

I am highly impressed by your behavior. You take me out to dinner, call when you say you are going to call, open car doors for me, and text me to say nice things. Last night you even cooked me a delicious dinner and entertained me with your witty banter. How did you know that I love slabs of beef, especially in the form of a well-seasoned filet cooked to perfection?! Frankly, I am taken aback by all of this. Thank you for treating me so well and reminding me of what it is like to go on a date. I forgot.

And Thanks for Making Me Feel Special,
A