Dear CRAZY hobo on the corner of 17th and Eye,

You make me laugh every single morning on my way to work. Your signs are so original / weird that I find myself looking forward to crossing paths with you each day. It started out with "need money for sandwich and Coca-Cola" - your insistence on brand name cola products when you can't even afford a cardboard box was mildly amusing to me. But that was just the beginning. Yesterday you wanted "a sandwich or a bottle of 5000mg vitamin C" and today when I walked by your stoop you were holding up a sign that read "i need a sandwich or sterile gauze and surgical tape". I think I'm gonna start carrying around a rubber tire in my purse - y'know, just in case.

Man, You Must REALLY Like Sandwiches,
CF

Dear random Baltimore street bums who "holler" at me while I'm walking to class,

Please stop. I know this may come as a huge surprise to you, but I actually do NOT want to have sex with you. I just don't. And while it may seem like an expression of endearment, me giving you the finger and telling you to fuck off is NOT an invitation for you to proceed with the harassment. Most girls may view a cat call as a direct invite for sex or for creating a fulfiling relationship out of thin air, and most girls may think your "rugged" appearance and perpetual state of inebriation is attractive, but I just don't. Growing out your beard and carrying around a 40 is SO last season.

Take a hint,
Summer