Yes I just remembered this website. Best work entertainment ever. Unforch I can't think of anything funny to write tho... Every entry I read I remember the episode of SATC when Charlotte's vagina is depressed. "Dear vagina, why so blue?"
Love and vag,
~Laura F~
dear love life,
if you could stop being pathetically ironic, that would be super.
on new years' eve, i left the house of my best guy friend and headed to the Skeevy House where i hooked up with a 27-year old. he was cool, and we had a lot of fun, and i've fallen in platonic guy friend love with all of the boys that live there.
so of course now that i've been dating best guy friend for approx. 3 days, i go back to the Skeevy House and one of them persuades me to drive him to the liquor store for the sole purpose of grilling me about 27yearold-- asking if i have a crush on him, asking how old is too old for me, annnnd making me wish veryvery hard that i did NOT have a boyfriend.
so basically, thanks for leaving me out to dry for FUCKING EVER and then simultaneously throwing two perfectly viable options at me.
you're a scheming bitch.
stop laughing at me.
-c
if you could stop being pathetically ironic, that would be super.
on new years' eve, i left the house of my best guy friend and headed to the Skeevy House where i hooked up with a 27-year old. he was cool, and we had a lot of fun, and i've fallen in platonic guy friend love with all of the boys that live there.
so of course now that i've been dating best guy friend for approx. 3 days, i go back to the Skeevy House and one of them persuades me to drive him to the liquor store for the sole purpose of grilling me about 27yearold-- asking if i have a crush on him, asking how old is too old for me, annnnd making me wish veryvery hard that i did NOT have a boyfriend.
so basically, thanks for leaving me out to dry for FUCKING EVER and then simultaneously throwing two perfectly viable options at me.
you're a scheming bitch.
stop laughing at me.
-c
Dear New Room Mate:
I am seriously excited about you. I think you will be the least crazy of all of my former roommates/housemates. You are currently talking on the phone in the kitchen and your conversation does not make me want to kill you. And you talk about other things aside from Comcast cable, Windows XP and ridiculously absurd politics (which your father has instilled into your mind instead of you making a conscious decision. I'm talking about you, last roommate.Im not bitter. No. No.) It was also kind of silly when we woke up and your boyfriend and i were wearing the same exact shirt. Only his was man-sized and mine was wee.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Let's go get drunk sometime.
love,
cj
I am seriously excited about you. I think you will be the least crazy of all of my former roommates/housemates. You are currently talking on the phone in the kitchen and your conversation does not make me want to kill you. And you talk about other things aside from Comcast cable, Windows XP and ridiculously absurd politics (which your father has instilled into your mind instead of you making a conscious decision. I'm talking about you, last roommate.Im not bitter. No. No.) It was also kind of silly when we woke up and your boyfriend and i were wearing the same exact shirt. Only his was man-sized and mine was wee.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Let's go get drunk sometime.
love,
cj
Bust.
Dear 2008,
The world isnt even 2 weeks into you yet and i already know you are going to suck ass. First of all my Grandpa goes into the hospital on New Years Day where he is most likely going to spend the rest of his days, and how many days does he has left?? i have no fucking idea because my parents think it would be a good idea to keep that from me. Visiting him everyday and seeing how much he has deteriorated from 6 months ago is breaking my heart. fuck i cant even type about it without bursting into tears.
And now my Nanna has gone into hospital as well, i really cant handle all of this, i dont even know how my parents are either. Not only that but my brothers gf thinks she is a part of our family so therefore she needs to voice her opinion on all of this, Bitch, back the fuck off. you 2 havent even been together for a yr so i dont think you have a right to open your big mouth about this, those 2 people mean the world to me so when i hear you talk about them like its your family i could just about slap you in the face because you dont mean shit to me.
To top it all off there is a mouse or some sort of creature stuck in my walls running around at all hours of the night.
GET OUT
CPD
The world isnt even 2 weeks into you yet and i already know you are going to suck ass. First of all my Grandpa goes into the hospital on New Years Day where he is most likely going to spend the rest of his days, and how many days does he has left?? i have no fucking idea because my parents think it would be a good idea to keep that from me. Visiting him everyday and seeing how much he has deteriorated from 6 months ago is breaking my heart. fuck i cant even type about it without bursting into tears.
And now my Nanna has gone into hospital as well, i really cant handle all of this, i dont even know how my parents are either. Not only that but my brothers gf thinks she is a part of our family so therefore she needs to voice her opinion on all of this, Bitch, back the fuck off. you 2 havent even been together for a yr so i dont think you have a right to open your big mouth about this, those 2 people mean the world to me so when i hear you talk about them like its your family i could just about slap you in the face because you dont mean shit to me.
To top it all off there is a mouse or some sort of creature stuck in my walls running around at all hours of the night.
GET OUT
CPD
Too bad I didn't see this before going to my friends party:
http://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/laf/524483670.html
Hehe.
-cj
http://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/laf/524483670.html
Hehe.
-cj
dear i.m.,
welcome to my life. you're barely into 'em, they're into you, they're not into you, you're head over heels. its stupid, riiiight? i just wanna find a decent guy that makes me feel the whole fucking buterfly populace in my stomach. that'd be great.
not a mixed signal sending toolbox. i'm done with those. and i'm sure you're feeling the same way.
love,
-j
welcome to my life. you're barely into 'em, they're into you, they're not into you, you're head over heels. its stupid, riiiight? i just wanna find a decent guy that makes me feel the whole fucking buterfly populace in my stomach. that'd be great.
not a mixed signal sending toolbox. i'm done with those. and i'm sure you're feeling the same way.
love,
-j
Dear Person Who Called Me And The People Who Write On My Blog "Rich And Whiney",
When you visit a site entitled "whyamisopretty.blogspot.com" are you really hoping to read something earthshattering?
Get Off Me,
A
P.S. Pretty sure $30,000 in students loans doesn't qualify as "rich". Just because I'm pretty doesn't mean I'm rich. And I'm not whiney.
When you visit a site entitled "whyamisopretty.blogspot.com" are you really hoping to read something earthshattering?
Get Off Me,
A
P.S. Pretty sure $30,000 in students loans doesn't qualify as "rich". Just because I'm pretty doesn't mean I'm rich. And I'm not whiney.
Dear Boy Who I Wasn't Sure I Liked Until I Became Unsure That You Liked Me Back And Now I Really Like You,
Wtf? When you were asking me out and paying attention to me, I couldn't even decide if I was into you or not. Then all of a sudden you stop calling and I can't stop thinking about you. Do you even like me? Did you lose interest, or are you playing some kind of game? Or are you just really shy? I can't figure you out and its driving me crazy and now all I want is for you to come over and do me. The sick part is that I recognize the fact that my interest in you has only skyrocketed BECAUSE of your sudden lack thereof... and yet it changes nothing. Why is my wiring so fucked up???
Confused and kind of horny,
I.M.
Wtf? When you were asking me out and paying attention to me, I couldn't even decide if I was into you or not. Then all of a sudden you stop calling and I can't stop thinking about you. Do you even like me? Did you lose interest, or are you playing some kind of game? Or are you just really shy? I can't figure you out and its driving me crazy and now all I want is for you to come over and do me. The sick part is that I recognize the fact that my interest in you has only skyrocketed BECAUSE of your sudden lack thereof... and yet it changes nothing. Why is my wiring so fucked up???
Confused and kind of horny,
I.M.
Dear Damning Photos of Me on Facebook.
Crap. Alcohol makes me do ridiculously stupid things. Or maybe cute Australian roommates make me do stupid things. In either case, I suspect Cute English Chap is actually my boyfriend now, which means that some of you recent photos have to go. I'm talking about you photo of me licking hot aussies nipple (although that was a nice memory), and you pack of photos of me grinding on random boys. Pictures of me in my skimpy new years outfit can stay though. You guys are hot.
Thank Goodness for untagging!
Shameless
Crap. Alcohol makes me do ridiculously stupid things. Or maybe cute Australian roommates make me do stupid things. In either case, I suspect Cute English Chap is actually my boyfriend now, which means that some of you recent photos have to go. I'm talking about you photo of me licking hot aussies nipple (although that was a nice memory), and you pack of photos of me grinding on random boys. Pictures of me in my skimpy new years outfit can stay though. You guys are hot.
Thank Goodness for untagging!
Shameless
dear dear life blog& bloggers,
i love you. honestly, i refresh you daily and read all the similar things that i go through. you comfort me in a strange sense. its nice. i really enjoy reading the traumas and exciting things that everyone writes about. and i can write my issues to the person/thing that is causing them and they'll never know! ha! so, thanks. a lot.
basically A, you're a genius.
love,
-j
i love you. honestly, i refresh you daily and read all the similar things that i go through. you comfort me in a strange sense. its nice. i really enjoy reading the traumas and exciting things that everyone writes about. and i can write my issues to the person/thing that is causing them and they'll never know! ha! so, thanks. a lot.
basically A, you're a genius.
love,
-j
Oh My God I Know All About This
Dear driving to Wal Mart 30 minutes away at 1:30am on a Friday night to buy High School Musical 2,
You might be the best decision I have ever made.
Getting my head in the game,
Homegirl.
You might be the best decision I have ever made.
Getting my head in the game,
Homegirl.
Dear Boys,
I'm seriously starting to hate you all. First my best friend continually bails on me for his ex girlfriend he claims he doesn't even like. And he continually makes empty promises only because he bends to her every beck and call for no good reason. And then second the boy that sketched out on me for three months after a nice normal month of dating shows up last night trying to hook up. Saying things like "I mean we already know each other, so what's the problem? I thought this would be chill." does NOT make me want to have sex with you. EVER.AGAIN. Yeah, and the way you act so pompous that "you're in the real world" and I'm not so I obviously am immature is bullshit and really....who is the loser hanging around college kids pathetically trying to pretend he never graduated.
I'm seriously becoming so jaded, this is not good.
Becoming the cat lady and I don't even like cats,
Homegirl.
I'm seriously starting to hate you all. First my best friend continually bails on me for his ex girlfriend he claims he doesn't even like. And he continually makes empty promises only because he bends to her every beck and call for no good reason. And then second the boy that sketched out on me for three months after a nice normal month of dating shows up last night trying to hook up. Saying things like "I mean we already know each other, so what's the problem? I thought this would be chill." does NOT make me want to have sex with you. EVER.AGAIN. Yeah, and the way you act so pompous that "you're in the real world" and I'm not so I obviously am immature is bullshit and really....who is the loser hanging around college kids pathetically trying to pretend he never graduated.
I'm seriously becoming so jaded, this is not good.
Becoming the cat lady and I don't even like cats,
Homegirl.
Dear Questionable Decisions made in London,
Why do I think it was okay to wear just underwear out in public, spend new years making out in a corner of a bar with a random who wasn't that cute but did have a seductive British accent, or smoke pot in the back of a bus with a drug dealer I just met in the middle of the day only to have his prego girlfriend try to kick my ass? What happens in London stays in London! Or does that just apply to Vegas? Whatev....
Starting new in the '08,
Massie
Why do I think it was okay to wear just underwear out in public, spend new years making out in a corner of a bar with a random who wasn't that cute but did have a seductive British accent, or smoke pot in the back of a bus with a drug dealer I just met in the middle of the day only to have his prego girlfriend try to kick my ass? What happens in London stays in London! Or does that just apply to Vegas? Whatev....
Starting new in the '08,
Massie
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