Dear Mom,

As we sat and watched TV, a Ben Affleck promo of some sort flashed upon the screen, you grabbed my hand and said, "There is your boyfriend! What is ____(an ex boyfriend that strongly resembled Ben Affleck in his debut) doing these days?"

So,now you care about my ex. The same one you shunned from our house and forbid me to date bc your friends didn't like him. The same one you refused to let me go to prom with so I went with someone else that left me there mid-prom to go out with his friends. This is the same guy /reason you refused to give me a long distance phone account in college (cutting me off from all friends - just so I couldn;t talk to him.) We were left to sneak about a'la Romeo and Juliet. But Romeo and Juliet is just a sad fairy tale with a sad ending. We walked away because of you - not because of our own volition, THAT will haunt and hurt forever. I don't know what would have been, I seriously doubtful that he would have been the one, but I am insulted that you have the gaul to bring him up and suddenly talk about him as my first love - when you denied that he even existed before. I did everything I could to respect you, despite my heart, and you still disrespect mine so many years later.

And the fact is this:Today, ____ is a really devout Christian man, he married a devout Christian woman and they just had a baby. I know this because, although he and I haven't spoken in years, he took the time to track me down to send me a birth announcement. So, he's not the greatest man for contacting me about that, but again...why would he want me to know if he and I didn't care...

How Dare You, Mom? Too little, too late is all to simple a statement. But to say anything more than that would be unbecoming of me. You're my parent and I will love you and respect you. But I'm forever broken. Any man I meet and I could potentially love, I have turned away so you can't ruin it. And any man that seems to meet your criteria is HORRIBLE on the inside bc your judgement is clearly fucked.

You denied his and my existence for so long, but now you are so worried that I am alone that you glorify bullshit past. Insulting. I am better than the damage done to me, so I take your sudden and completely surprising admission that ___ and I were in love as my carte blanche to *discreetly say fuck you to any complaints you ever make about my love life again. Here's to a new chapter, you bitch.

Happy Holidays,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Now THAT is one new years resolution.