dear december/january,

you were so much fun.
so much fun, in fact, that i am taking it upon myself to implement a new policy for february:

sober.
and.
celibate.

you taught me that i don't need to be drinking both days of every weekend... and i certainly don't need to go cruisin' for the p every time i go to a party. i've officially renamed sunday "hangoverday" and i've been shoved headfirst into a friend's car-- before midnight-- as protection against the wrath of an angry 250lb woman . i felt almost nothing after 5 shots of soco on saturday, which would have had me throwing up a month ago, and i sent more than 100 texts in one night telling captain asshole (anyone remember him??) that me and my friend wanted to have a threesome with him.

also i want to have a liver when i turn nineteen.

thus, Celisoberuary is born.

no booze, no boys.
chicks before dicks.
beer is queer.
"sex can wait, masturbate!"

february starts on sunday, right?,
-c