nevermind, i can answer that.
1) because i hadn't had anything even resembling a relationship for a solid year before we met.
2) on st patrick's day... aka march. which means
3) it was the longest i've ever been involved, in any sense of the word, with anyone. ever.
i spent days 0-3 (last thursday thru sunday) in bed. didn't drink. couldn't stop crying. deactivated my facebook. day 8 went on a first date that should have been amazing until i realized that i couldn't care less whether this really sweet, genuine, gentlemanly guy EVER talked to me again.
i am broken until further notice.
then saturday there was a football game. i haven't been to one without him this year, and it was the best game of the season. it was so amazing and i'm angry that i didn't enjoy it to the fullest because i was pissed about the retarded stoner that i wasted 9 months of my life caring about. reactivated my fb to gloat about the game, naturally went to his page to catch up on what i missed and guess what? nothing had changed... surprise. he's still friending random hoes from god knows where and wildebeest bitches are still posting shit on his wall like "OmGgGgG i MiSsSsS u when r u cumming home to c me?!??11 i can't wait 2 cu lol ur so kewt! i <3 u j!!!!!!!!" and he's still posting happy statuses that are nothing like what i would have been posting if i had access to facebook for that week (think "hoping starbucks will make my draino vodka latte so i don't have to" or "will be dying alone in a pile of starving cats so please keep track of me and call police if i stop responding to texts". this was partly the reason i deactivated in the first place.)
4) the reason i'm not perpetually wasted is that my body is literally rejecting alcohol. shots? a gag reflex that should exist only in 5-year-olds getting their throats swabbed for strep. beer? "WHY IS IT SO COLD OUTSIDE I CAN'T DRINK THIS WAHHHHH" like a little bitch. wine? well, okay. i drink a lot of wine. but then i just get old ladyish, wrap up in comforters and cry onto my dog which isn't really the point of drinking alcohol.... i think.
basically, i don't know how to do this. help. what do i do?
yours in purple teeth and perpetual relationship retardation,