Dear myself as a 25 year old,

You are pretty much an adult now.  There is no reason to demonstrate how to do a proper "dropkick" when you are drunk.  Injuries will surely result, much like they did last week.  You are now going to have to explain at Thanksgiving why you have come home with a limp and a bum knee.

And, it would probably be best if you stopped hooking up with dudes at the moment you pass out.  If you can't stay awake during the hook-up, its not worth it.  Being an inactive participant doesn't benefit you in the long run.
Next time your concious goes out the door, try not to let your dignity follow.
Still recovering,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Em:

"Adult" just means you're liable for your own taxes or that the beverage can make you demonstrate a dropkick. So long as the grand Thanksgiving revelation isn't that you're surprised to find yourself starring in an adult film, you could be doing way worse.

Hope you made up a sympathy-drawing story for the fam.