Dear life,

I'm all about being single and trying to meet new people and all of that. But why are the only guys that hit on me total weirdos? For example, the guy that worked at the liquor store who introduced himself as "I'm single." Seriously?! And then today at the airport a guy approached and started chatting and it was fine. Then he busts out with this gem... "Do you like house music?" Umm does this guy go to raves and dance around with glow sticks or something? Because he looked to be around 30. I am starting to wonder if I give off some strange vibe.

What gives?


Anonymous said...

I feel your pain.

Like, no, I don't want to go "camping" with you in your backyard. Seriously?

I like to trick myself into thinking opposites attract and I'm totally normal and adorable.

A fellow creeper magnet,

Anonymous said...

Shit, ladies:

At least your odds are good, even if the goods on offer are odd.

And WTF is weird about being 30 and digging house music?! Some of us just old fuckers just like to dance our asses off. And we can afford a cover.

Here's why you're answer was the wrong one at the airport.

Johnny McDance might have been applying stage one of T's Two-pronged bunny litmus test:

1) How does she dance?
2) Is she a picky eater?

Both of these relate to the ever-important question of "How big a freak?" in the sack.

In my experience, if she dances like she's caught fire and she's willing to eat new things...the shorty is often a provider of the "freaky ninja circus" variety of sex.

On the other hand, if she's a timid or self-conscious dancer (or WON'T dance), or she doesn't eat very adventurously...the sex is going to be "little house on the prairie" brand don't waste your time.

Love...the old dancy bastard,

p.s. Most house usually isn't played at raves and is not traditional glowstick sucked all through the 90's and early '00s until Thomas Bangaltar saved it from hell at the price of its resurgence back into the commercial club venues...which is a very shitty level of Purgatory.

( if only somebody would save Trance)

blondie said...

T - you crack my shit up.
LaDiva - you are not alone. I find the weirdos that have panic attacks on my dates, or have 4 cats and live in filth, or are closet-gays. I don't need prince charming, just a normal guy. And somehow, that seems to be too much to ask. -blondie