I realize we were both sloshed Friday night, but what's up with the fucking Hiroshima you gave me on my neck? Hickies? Seriously? Why, no, I did not intend to be a sexually active sixth grader for Halloween. It looks like I got mauled by a polar bear or have leprosy or the neck herp. And despite the solid inch of stage make-up I applied this morning, my neck still looks like the Baghdad of make-out sessions. As if anyone believes I had an allergic reaction to my Halloween costume of primarily cotton and hairspray.
Helping the economy with my scarf purchases,