Dear loudmouthed guy sitting next to me,
We get it, you are a douche bag. No need to continue to scream across the room to make fun of your friend for hanging with his "significant other" this weekend. And yes, YOU made air quotes around the phrase significant other. If you scream out another profanity I will stab you in the eye with my pen. This is not a bar, this is a law campus which means your peers, professors, and future bosses are all sitting around reconsidering their views on selective breeding.
PLEASE use protection,