Dear Parents,

Thank you for sealing the deal that I don't believe in romantic love or marriage. Thank you for ripping my insides out. It's such a great Sunday afternoon when your father calls to tell you that after 38 years of marriage, he's left your mother. And it gets even better that when you talk to your mother, she's more worried that the toilet isn't working than the fact that her marriage is in ruins. Oh and by the way didn't she already tell me she may have cancer and is having a serious operation later this week? And could I please call Dad and let him know? You failed to realize your ploys would send me into a complete hysterical panic attack, and oh, sorry. It's just a standard biopsy. Exaggerate much?

Grow the fuck up and be adults. I am your youngest child, so why am I counseling you both through your lies and petty bullshit? Stop with the emotional blackmail. Stop with the lies. I love you both, but I will completely remove myself from this toxic family if I need to self preserve. Whether your marriage survives this or not, our relationship may not.

You have made it completely impossible to have empathy or even real concern for you because I no longer believe a word that comes out of either of your mouths. I just can't take another day of this. Please fix this insanity, even if it means divorce, just fix it like adults. And if you can't pull it together just enough to do so, then leave me alone.

seceeding from this fucked union,
blondie