Dear America,

I know I've been kind of distant for the last eight years, but I wanted to take a minute to say good job. Hell, I'll go a step further and even say that I'm proud of you. Damn proud. (I know - it's a new and confusing feeling for me too.) Turns out, it feels pretty good. What do you say we try and keep this up? I'm down if you are.

First time 'U-S-A, U-S-A!' chanter,
JF




Dear California,

Dude. We need to talk. You're supposed to be the forward-looking example to the rest of the nation. Instead, you decided to take a page from the history books (an unsuccessful one, I might add) and give the old 'separate but equal' thing a try. What gives? You and I both know I have always been way closer to you than the nation as a whole. But just because I'm enjoying this whole newfound national pride thing does not mean you should feel threatened! And there's definitely no need to act out and deny a group of citizens any rights because you're feeling insecure about your citizens' affections one day.

Now, what do you say we go ahead and have the State Supreme Court help the ACLU & Co. get this crap off the books and restore your good name? Because you and I both know you're better than this. So sack up already, admit you made a mistake, and right this wrong!

Waiting for you to remove your head from your ass and stop the h8te,
JF