Dear a**hole ,

So yesterday you robbed my roommate in broad daylight in front of our house.  Unfortunately for you, you only managed to get away with a bag that you thought was her purse -- however, as I'm sure you've found out by now, it only contained ..... hair extensions.  Don't ask me why she was carrying a bag with hair extensions in it... she's a hairdresser if you really must know.  And why after robbing someone would you take off on foot to the Captain D's across the street and chill out until my other badass roommate comes running after you like a madman.  I'm sorry that your crime spree was so unsuccessful.  I'm pretty sure that a black man wearing blond hair extensions is going to draw quite a bit of attention.  Oh wait, we don't need to wonder because you already got arrested.  Hope prison is a blast! 


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