I felt vaguely guilty today as I spent the entire morning taking care of my personal email and researching other job opportunities. I also felt a little guilty leaving right at 5pm as the over-achievers were just warming up. I'm conflicted. A part of me really wants to quit my job and wander around the world. Another part of me wants to move to NYC and have the time of my life (this is the latest fixation). A third part of me wants to stay put because it's comfortable and I'm lazy. Another part of me wants to move back to my hometown so I can be closer to my family, not the part of me that wants to get the hell out of dodge after a week of being around them.
I feel a little bit like this is my life and it's ending one minute at a time and I am too codependent and comfortable to do anything about it. What happened to courage? I don't want to be a space monkey any longer. I think our strategy is stupid and I'm spending my time with my head buried in spreadsheets substantiating projects I don't even agree with.... dealing with unmanageable people with unreasonable expectations... oh wait, that's me.