Dear A and Dear Lifers,

At what point does one know when you are supposed to have a DTR discussion?

You've known each other for 2.5 weeks. Talk every day by either phone, text, or online. And lets be honest...you let him sleep over last weekend and it wasn't all innocent.

I definitely think it is too early to have this discussion, but a friend suggested it might be coming soon.

Help,
Em

8 comments:

CheerBigA said...

I would give it 1.5 more weeks.

<3,
A

Anonymous said...

Just do it when you can't not do it anymore. Everybody always forces them, which makes them awkward. They're only comfortable convos when it's awkward NOT to have them.

Quit stressin and enjoy it.

-T

p.s. Uh...being allowed to sleep over is NEVER innocent. Unless he's a eunich. (eunoch?...fuck it, it's too late at night to spellcheck)

Tick said...

Whats a DTR discussion?
(i'm british, does that excuse my ignorance?)

V

Em said...

Define The Relationship

You're not ignorant...just haven't been reading Dear Life long enough, I guess!

Anonymous said...

i think its too soon, personally. i agree with t. do it when you can't not do it anymore. if it becomes like, you hang out all the time, you're hooking up and not hooking up with other people thennn its time for the DTR convo.

i also personally like waiting for the dude to do it because then its not like you're a "psycho obsessed in love" girl. cause yanno how guys are tools and like to exaggerate.

(also i thought DTR was "down to relationship". like DTF! baha. i'm an idiot.)

-j

Anonymous said...

Dear Tick,

Urbandictionary.com is your friend.

Even I, the whitiest whitebread who ever honkeed can decrypt the parlance of the street and slangy.

I just wish I could still get crunk.

-T

And on what J said...if she doesn't push for the conversation, it gets all over our insecurity...like maybe we like her more than she likes us...and that makes us VERY twitchy...which, in my experience, all women enjoy seeing.

Course...he might get clingy on all that. Or start chasing everything that moves figuring you're cool with it.

Tick said...

Duh, I get it now.... thanks T

ML said...

I had forgotten, and my assumption was that DTR was "dating-to-relationship" ... as in, "we're moving onto the next level". which is similar, but still ... dumb. :) anyway...

it seems like no one has given you a definitive answer. i guess it's always hard to tell - you have to read the situation as it pertains to him and his M.O. however, i know that's not easy to define this early on (and they usually change their MO or show their true colors later on anyway). but yeah ... "go with the proverbial flow" if you will. listen to T. he's smart.