Dear Parental Unit,

So...you're moving to Switzerland. In a few weeks. For a year. And asking me to move back in to watch over the house/cat and rent out the rooms to 4 (hopefully) bad ass chicks. I'm gonna miss you and all, but can you hurry up and get the eff out already?! I can not WAIT to turn my childhood home into a bitchin' bachelorette pad!! Also, the sooner you leave, the sooner I can come visit you and ski the Swiss Alps FOR FREE.

Ballinnn',
CF