Dear Eliot the Cat,
I love you but damn, why are you do against the idea of me sleeping. Every sneak into my bed with your furry cuteness and affection, then curl up in the spot least conducive to me sleeping. That's annoying enough, but you don't stay there, oh no. You poke me in the face, you try to spoon me, you stare creepily from the dark with your glowing yellow eyes. Last night I was awoken at 3am by an impromptu game of one cat tackle football. At least that's what I assume you were doing down there from the racket you were making. At least once a month of am woken by the sound of you yakking, on my clothes. When I try to throw you out of my room you hurl yourself against the door repeatedly like some sort of demented cat rapist. When I open the door in the morning you are standing right there, ready to dart back in and harass me some more.
Aside from being creepy this is annoying as hell.I know you love my but chill girl. Please cease and desist before I go insane from lack of sleep.
Lucky you are so cute,