Why do you have to be the way you are?? Why does it have to be completely impossible to have a real relationship with you, when I want you so bad that just looking at pictures of you makes my vagina cry a little? You're distracting me from the nice boy that respects me and actually wants a relationship. Stop making it so hard for me to forget about your beautiful, large penis and the way you smell in the morning. Gahh get out of my head! Can I just take your pheromones and your penis and transfer them to my nice boy??
Irma
6 comments:
Dear Nice Boy:
You're screwed, dude. Dump and run, muthafucka...dump and run.
Luv,
-T
Ha thanks, T. But until the nice boy who respects me starts getting a LITTLE less respectful, I don't see how I can say no! :(
nah. you got this. it's easy to teach a nice guy to be less nice. much harder to teach a douchelord to be less douchelordy. :)
Dear Nice Boy:
You're still fucked. You're gonna get taken for granted and shit on. Cut bait and sail on. No matter how much training you undergo, if she's gagging for you to rotate her tires like somebody else does, you're done, done and done.
-T
Oh, and p.s. "nice" = "bitch." When you do sail on, stop being a bitch, nice boy.
dearest T,
you seemed to have evolved since the last dear life posts... are you no longer one of the nice guys? i thought i remembered that about you.
-c
Naw, I'm still a bitch. But the gazelle has to recognize that running from the lion is the only way out.
I mean, if you turn to fight the lion, she's not even going to do you the courtesy of dousing your ass with hot sauce before she starts chomping.
Nice boy is the boy Irma thinks she SHOULD want - but she really just wants douchlorde to be less douchelordy so that she feels less empty post-coitus with Mr. F-Buddy.
As a nice boy, I have to admit being recognized as a nice boy is death. It's emotionally draining and sexually frustrated. If you do get some, it's the hand-me-down, "wish you were him" variety. Eff that. Even worse, tho, is being pegged as emotional support without ass-tap privileges.
Nice boy is going to do all the supporting while douchelord does all the pipelaying. That's a sell order in the stock-market of bunnies, hands down.
-T
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