Dear Mr. Fish,

A few thoughts:

1. Breaking up with someone, ten minutes before they write a test, isn’t so cool.

2. Breaking up with someone who risked her friendships with both your brother and one of her future bridesmaids because she so genuinely liked you and so very much wanted to be functional and together this one time, also isn’t cool

3. Breaking up with someone (after making them hold hands in public and talk about their feelings) effectively because you can’t even say the word ‘girlfriend’ but still ‘really like’ her, again would not rank high on my list of ‘What To Do To Avoid A Front-Kick In The Man-Parts’

I wore my heart on my sleeve and you pissed on it. Then, you set the jacket on fire and said ‘but you’re still really great’: Thanks.



Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Fish,

screw you. You ask stupid questions in my lecture. You pissed in the pool and then got out before finishing your lap. You may or may not have broken one of the most important people in my life. Fuck you, buddy. You and I can no longer be friends.

Pleas stop being an arrogant git.

Thank you ever so much,

ML said...

a) this guy must have been a total dick to get TWO write-offs in one day.

b) is his last name really Fish? because that's funny.

c) i hope he gets his deserved kick in the balls very literally, and i hope you said all of this to him in person.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Fish,

One day when I see you, your going to get the shock of your life.
Nobody messes with my big sis and gets away with and me are going to have fun times, bud. Just watch.

You don't know the meaning of the word 'bitch' but I can assure you, you will shortly.

Thanx asshole,