Dear Vlad Putin:

Dude, WTF?! Step off Georgia.

‘Kay, so I may be old, because I remember the cold war, but that wall in Berlin ALREADY came down. Remember Gorbachev? He opened you alchys up to the world and yourselves? It caused a lot of turmoil and soul-searching and shit, sure…but look at all the growth and improvement Russia has had…you fuckers are positively EXPLODING economically right now… (unlike us.)

So now…you wanna go right back to being an isolationist, annexing bunch of fucktards?! Just so you can ensure obedience in your empire? While you pretend to allow elections…but still run the whole show…and have brought back assassination (with plutonium in fucking TEA, no less…), AND crushed the free press, AND imprisoned or shot your political rivals.

Dick moves all, asshole. Dick-fucking-moves. Seriously, stop being such a fucking douche.

Your Pal,

p.s. The only thing I ever liked about the USSR was that you made awesome James Bond vil lains. Stop living up to your stereotype, Stalin.


ML said...

Yeah, I was going to say, "remember that time when we had a crisis with Russia because they had a fire at what they claimed wasn't a missile silo..." and then I remembered, that was on The West Wing. ...does that happen to anyone else?

Amy Massey said...

Seriously. You know it's bad when GEORGE freaking BUSH tells you you're ruining your reputation and losing your standing in the world.

George. W. Bush.

Russia...think about that one....

Anonymous said...

haha! i always accidentally think that the west wing episodes were real.

maybe it's because i really want president bartlett to run our country