Dear armpits,

You guys are totally cramping my style. I get dressed to go out, put on AMPLE deodorant, and you guys still sweat rivers under my arms. What the dealio?? I can't be sexy when I'm sweating like a linebacker. That's not cute!

I've tried the strong deodorants. You know, the ones that say "strong enough for a man, but PH balanced for a woman". Yeah, bullcrap! Those things don't work. Got me smellin like a musty rose petal. It's not cool when you come in after lunch and people ask you if you went to the gym on your lunch break. I'm a grown woman, for God's sake. I can't be sweatin like a junior high boy trying to hide his boner. Give me a break!

Apparently though, I am not the only one with this problem. My friend tells me that she uses men's deodorant...I don't know about that one. It's one thing to take a nice whiff of men's body cologne on the biceps of my boy toy, but it is totally another to have my favorite silk shirt smell like I rubbed a GQ magazine all over it.

I can't understand why we can't just work together on this. I mean, how many times in the winter did i have the urge to shave your hairy surface, but resisted in order to give you a break and let you be free under my wool sweaters? Not everyone does that. You could look like a naked mole rat all year round and then I wouldn't have to deal with your funky 'tude.

So just calm down and don't sweat it, ok?



ML said...

did you try Secret "CLINICAL strength"? it's the only one that works for me.

Anonymous said...

Use Certain Dri!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the advice (and support)! :)


Anonymous said...

I have the same issue, use Mitchim...It's the best around