Dear Best Friend,

Today, I was thinking about what a horrible friend I am. It is astonishing how much shit I have of yours. I don't think I have ever borrowed something of yours and returned it or at least ultimately taken it back again. Right now I have your leggings, your headphones, your strawberry necklace, lots of your books, and several other items which belong to you. I never told you I took your white cheerleading shorts with me to college. I also never gave you back your Third Eye Blind CD which you let me borrow freshman year of high school. I listened to it in the car today and thought of you. Shit, probably half the stuff I own is yours. Wow, I really suck. You might have a thing or two of mine, but it prob doesn't compare to the magnitude of my cleptomania. You're amazing for still always letting me borrow. You're the best friend I could ever ask for and I probably owe you about $500 worth of belongings.

Love,
Adrienne