Dear Poverty,

You are giving me very much anxiety right now and I swear to God if anyone looks at me even halfway funny I will burst into tears. I like how I can manage to completely ignore financial strain until one day I notice I owe about $1,000 and the shit hits the fan. Like today, when I realized my internet/cable has been cut off because payroll fucked up last month and managed to overlook issuing me money and I can't pay my bill. I also have been driving around with the goddamn empty light on and eating macaroni and cheese for the past week. I now have 78 cents to my name and my check is still lost in the red tape. Do these people have no mercy?! I'm fucking POOR! Throw a bitch a bone here. I'm going to have to start downgrading to eating spices. If I don't get written a check in the next week with some weight to it, I will be forced to sell my eggs.

On the Upside, I'm Having a Skinny Week,
A