Dear Corporate Life,

I thought I liked you, but after seeing 7+ people who sit directly across from me get laid off today and subsequently escorted off the premises with a sad-looking box of their desk tchotchkes, I now live in mortal fear of losing my job. Although my boss and my boss's boss have reassured me my job is fine, I have a mini panic attack whenever I think of being led into Conference Room 3 by the scary HR guy. For the love of all that is holy, please let me keep this job until I can find a rich husband or other means of financial support. Plus, I kind of like it, especially now that the loudmouths across from me are gone.

Don't send me to hell for saying that.
LW