Dear Sex Toy Party,

You made me depressed. I know you were supposed to be fun, and I enjoyed making witty and hilarious commentary throughout the whole production, but on the inside i felt like a little girl who had just dropped her ice cream cone. While the other girls were talking about their conundrums with their either one-minute or marathon men, I was looking at the double sided dildos longingly. I was sad I couldn't nonchalantly complain about someone taking forever or being a 2-thruster. I couldn't even perk up enough to buy myself a new vibe.

No Couples Kama Books For This Girl,

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