Dear Paul-Wall,

Don't worry. One of these days you will find a girl who isn't a complete psycho. Who knows, you may even find a chica who doesn't call you every hour and cry when you don't spend time with her every night. Also, if you're lucky, you could possibly find a girl who doesn't want to castrate you and make you her bitch. The dime you find will love your balls, want you to hang out with your friends without her, and not need to talk to you on a daily basis. Hang in there. In the meantime, keep blacking out so you can withstand those hoes long enough to use them for a piece.

Someday,
Adrienne