Dear Life,

Thank you for providing me with a multitude of people who have shattered my (once unyielding)self-confidence this school year. It's great to have constant reminders that I'm not as hot, competent, or intelligent as I think I am. I guess this is what I get for being a cocky bitch all these years. But sheesh, was it necessary for that 9-year-old to tell me that I looked sickly this morning in my state of perfect physical health?

Fuck all the haters-I'm tired of this shit,

P.S. If I was friends with Miss America, I might try to point out her flaws, too.

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