Dear People Who Constantly Break Up and Get Back Together on Facebook,

Thank you for making me feel more mature than you. Knowing my life is much less dramatic boosts my esteem. I hope you know that newsfeed makes you look like complete morons. Fight your battles elsewhere instead of in a public forum in which every person you have ever known/seen/heard of (whom you've undoubtedly friended) can see and make fun of you (especially when those hearts show up when we log in next week signifying your public reconciliation). Also, it's pretty lame to untag every picture and delete every wallpost that links you to your ex in drunken malice. God forbid he/she did something really fucked might as well do the ultimate and UNFRIEND their ass. That'll show 'em.

Facebook is for Lovers,

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