Dear Life,

Just wondering what kind of parent sends her kids the following email, and copies their (still married) dad? Shouldn't parents just keep their shit together without pulling their "children" into it? It's bad enough that my siblings and I are clearly so warped from the example of their passive-aggressive family life that we will never have our own successful or functional relationships...

(oh, and for the pre-email record, she is lying about inviting him on some of said trips. sometimes she told him as she walked out the door. my car is not supposed to be driven bc it already has over 100k miles on it, needs service, and I am trying to sell it back in my hometown. She wanted to take it on a roadtrip bc her BMW convertible is too small. she went and bought her own Lexus SUV to remedy the situation - she's not a deprived victim) (and yes, Dad is being vindictive and mean in his own way. But this is THEIR SHIT - not mine. And 1 of my siblings is NOT nor ever was coming on this trip). I am trying not to pass judgment on the situation...moreso the fact that she felt this email was appropriate...


I don't know if any of you are wondering why or why not I am coming to visit Blondie with all the rest of you that Dad invited. Dad did not invite me. I asked if he was going to plan this trip before I left for xxx(a different trip). He had pulled up tickets to the BBall Game and left them on the computer for me to see. So before I left for xxxx I told him if he did decide to do this I wanted to go also.
When I got back from xxx, he had made all the plans.. I was not included. His excuse was I had just been to xxx with Blondie... He was invited to go to xxx also... he just chose not to go... He said I had been up there at Easter to visit Blondie, yes and I had asked him to go,, and he chose not to go... every time I have gone to NY unless it was a girls trip, I have invited him to go.. I was not invited to go on this trip.
So I asked him why cant I go? He said you don't like baseball.... I said Blondie doesn't like baseball.. this was more than baseball.. it was a family trip...It was the Yankees.... it was Yankee stadium... remember me??? I am the one who went to the baseball hall of fame,, I went to the hockey hall of fame.... I went to the foot ball hall of fame.......was this because I liked those sports?.... NO because I thought your Daddy would like them and so included those places in our trip to the World Series and other trips..... I never told him he couldn't go. anywhere... . so I asked then can I go ?? he said no you cannot go... it sounded like something my Daddy might have said not my husband,,,, he says you cannot drive Blondie's car.. you cannot drive my car...I don't need another Daddy telling me what I can and cannot do.. I need a husband not to be so mean to leave me out of a trip I wanted to go on.... My work schedule is Tues and Wed..... Dad is leaving on Thursday and coming back on Monday.... all the days I do not work.... It would have been so easy to have come, and not even have to take off work..... but instead I have 5 straight days at home by myself... no work -- no plans--- just sitting... and thinking how mean this was --- when Dad knew I wanted to come.
I just wanted to be sure if it ever came up.... that I wasn't too busy, I wasn't working,, It wasn't that I was just there--- I was not invited and I was TOLD I cannot come even if I pay my own way,

Just so there is no confusion...

I have cried and cried over this and it makes your Daddy mad to think I have told anyone what he has done--- He just should not have done this,, It was intentionally mean and meant to hurt me... my heart is broken... that he would do this...I told him last week.. all you have to do is say ,, I had no idea this was so important to you.... of course you can go.. I had no idea you were so upset...and it would be forgotten and forgiven . but he just stared at me and shrugged his shoulders.. He did not want to make it better, even after he knew how upset I was.


Mom and Dad: Keep me out of your shit. I already moved thousands of miles away to escape this shit and guilt and pain you inflict in my life. You will NOT suck me back in. I will cut you off completely if I have to. Please just get divorced so I can use it as an excuse to not come home for any holidays and avoid dealing with you all...I am so sorry I have not been strong enough to refuse your visits.I just don't have the strength to join in your petty drama.

Beyond late for therapy,

P.S. I would be willing to bet my rent controlled apartment that she BCC:ed some of her friends on that email.


Anonymous said...

Umm.. i think your mom is my mom. i had no idea she had other kids and that she was on the loose terrorizing other families. I feel you pain.

blondieb said...

lol. thank you anonymous! That gave me a laugh!

blondie said...

lol. thank you anonymous! That gave me a laugh!

Anonymous said...

I don't get what the problem is. I'd give an arm to have self-important histrionics be the pinnacle of family drama. Seems like a healthy period in family life to me. We can trade if you want.

Course my family takes antipsychotics, gets institutionalized, and stopped talking to me when I became successful enough to buy them on Ebay...but refuse to buy...a fucking SUMMER HOME...for them. Even so, I'm covering house payments, tax payments and car payments and sending money for god knows what to my blood who let me show up for Christmas and stare silently at things until I leave...and start laughing before I get down the walk.

Shit, I'd be happy if I wasn't footing the bill on your mom's Lexus.

As a final sales point, if we trade you can look forward to, every once in a while, somebody sucking on a firearm barrel or stepping off a chair with a rafter necktie...or the ex-spouse of a relative shooting the fucking CLASSMATE ACQUAINTANCE of said relative 9 times and geting put away for life.

Shall I start due diligence on the transfer?

A said...

Blondie, I'm really sorry. This is terrible. Trust me, I know all about it and got sucked in for years. I would cry and cry that I couldn't fix their problems, but I kept doing it. Props to you for setting boundaries (even though you let your mom come, you still seem to know what's best for you is keeping a distance). I'm sorry this is so painful. Your family in duress is the hardest thing, but even harder to walk away even when its the right thing to do.