Dear stalker,

You just don't give up, do you? I've been as polite as possible, and perhaps a bit rude at times, but you still just don't get it. I don't like a single thing about you, not a single thing, and everything from your face to your horrible spelling skills to the way you text just AGGRAVATES ME like nothing else. We hung out once -- ONCE -- and you barely spoke the whole night. You were a mute and had nothing interesting to say and, frankly, you bored the hell out of me so I went home early. So I don't understand how three hours of hanging out convinced you that "we had a great connection" and we "really, really hit it off." I couldn't disagree more.

But I've told you that I don't think this is a good idea, and since I don't ever pick up your calls, we message over the internet, which means I've got PROOF of everything I've said. I told you that I was busy, and at that point in my life, I barely had time to breathe, let alone deal with your incessant and annoying texts. Then I said that I was sort of seeing someone else and hanging around with you just wasn't going to work. I was short, I never asked questions about you, which I thought showed that I wasn't interested.

Apparently, you either have Alzheimer's or you're just really, really desperate.

I'm not a mean person, and I've never really broken a guy's heart before, but my heart gets broken on a regular basis so I know what it feels like. But I am about one second away from spilling everything and just saying, "You are the most annoying guy I have ever known, and if you BACKED OFF, I'd still talk to you, but please, just leave me alone. Don't message me, don't text me, and PLEASE, don't ask me to hang out."

Clingy guys are so not cool.

Beyond frustrated,
Is