Dear Toiletries in Boyfriend's Bathroom,

The other day when I was on the potty with my pants hugged around my ankles, I could not help but giggle when I noticed you. You are so incredibly man-ish that it kills me. Unlike my products which say "with alpha hydroxy pore cleansers" or "to fight aging and enhance natural glow", ALL of the labels of your products simply state their use and nothing else. "Hand soap", "Mouth rinse", "Skin Cream", are just a few of what I saw. I know that generic brands tend to be less complicated, but these were ridiculous. Where did you even find half this stuff? Is there a secret man aisle I don't know about?! Simply. Says what it is. Done.

What killed me was the "Hair & Body wash". Do you know how many products I use to wash my hair and body alone? More than one. And God knows they are all fruit infused 'with avocado concentrates' or have apricot exfoliants.

If Only It Were That Easy.
A

P.S. The other day I bought a body wash because the bottle said it contained 'ribbons of moisture'. I have no idea what that means, but it somehow makes me feel better about myself and my shower experience.