Dear Life,

So, I was OK when my BFF told me that she and her husband of 20 years were going to try an 'open' relationship. However, when that entailed the two of them trying to fuck other people in our 'circle of friends', I got uncomfortable. I said outright, "OK…don't tell me, because really, it's not OK with me and I don't want to know about it". But you insisted. Really, I don't need the drama. I actually like my friends. And, having my friends and even distant friends not want to hang out with ME because they are worried that my 'open relationship' friends (this means you) might want to start fucking their significant others. Yeah, OK, I get it. It's not cool. Do you even care that you are going to significantly fuck up my relationships with other people forever?

Why, why, why must you try to fuck within the inner circle? I mean, even the outer far-reaching circle can be, as I have found out personally, NOT cool. Go fuck someone you have never met. Really, try it. Oh, it's not about the sex you say. Now you are 'poly-amorous'. Really? Because I can see divorce just around corner; if not from your husband, then maybe from our friendship. Seriously. Not cool.

Signed,
Down with drama