Dear BF,

This whole "ditch me at a party to go talk to a group of all of your Jr High Female friends (which includes that b*tch, KB)" is REALLY getting old. How about you get some male friends and stop getting all overly nostalgic and estrogen inspired on me, with your super femme gang, eh? It makes me nervous, jealous, angry and annoyed. And it's not cute either.

I mean really, what completely heterosexual male grows up with 900 female friends, and has stories of being the ONLY guy at their childhood slumber parties??? You're making my eyebrows scrunch up, Mr. BF. Like seriously, get a clue.

And here are some tips to help you adjust to having a gf like me and female friends like them:
1) Don't leave me alone in a corner with a half glass of margarita, at a party for one of your play sisters. At least give me a full glass before you go.
2) Don't leave me alone in a corner to go and chat with a group of your female friends that JUST SO HAPPENS to include that b*tch, KB
3) Yes! It is possible for me to HATE that b*tch, KB, and still be cordial to her when we cross paths. It's called "the fake-out" and I'm a female, it's what we do.

I hope you really learned your lesson this weekend and I won't have to kick you out of my car again. I really hate doing that.

Anywayz, I still love you and your nappy/curly head and I can't wait to see you for some double dose of make up sex.

Mmmmmmm,
TR

p.s. Is it me or is our "make up sex" become the norm for us? Just a thought.