Dear thighs, stomach, arms, and ass,
Summer is upon us and all you guys wanna do is hang around and weigh me down. I can't even get into my old bathing suit anymore without you guys all over me. It used to just be a little bit here and there, but now every time I turn around or look over my shoulders, there you are. I mean, all these extras you guys are putting on me are totally bumming me out.
You guys are always waving around, jiggling and hanging all out of windows and my pants, making a scene. No one wants to see that in public places when they are eating. But as always, there you guys go, showing out and embarrassing me. I can't take you guys anywhere without someone making a comment!
Look, you guys are just smothering me and I can't take it anymore. Tomorrow, we are all making our way to the gym to work this all out. I think it is for the best. I don't want to lose you, but...no wait, YES i do want to lose you because you guys are disgusting.
You're just too loose for me and it's starting to ruin my reputation. In this world we live in, it's all about being firm. And you guys just aren't cutting it.
So stop your blubbering and get lost already!