Dear Subway Sandwiches:

I've never liked you. Never, ever, ever. Mainly b/c I have tastebuds. However, you were on the way home, I was hungry, and I only had about $6.83 to my name, so your $5 any foot-long sounded like a pretty fly deal. So there was an extra charge for guacamole, bacon, or extra meat. Fine, still a good deal.


I now see that you can afford to charge only $5 for your sandwiches b/c you hire people who think that the bacon on a chicken BACON ranch sandwich is extra b/c of the rules. Which, of course, means that I should also have to pay for the "extra" serving of chicken or for the bacon on a BLT. B/c sure, right!? I wish I'd had the forethought to pretend like I was going along w/ it and then leave after the sandwich was made. You can take your "extra" bacon charge and shove it up your ass.

Boycotting you FOREVER,

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