Dear "New" Crush,

I must've sent you half a dozen emails in the last couple weeks indicating that I wanted to talk about things like "feelings" once we were both back from our respective vacations. I referenced the "elephant in the room," mentioned that my "girl-ego" was on the line, and all but said point-blank that I still have a massive crush on you and want to know what the hell your plans are with regard to staying or breaking up with your gf. But you've continued to totally avoid the subject, and I'm not sure what to do now, short of showing up at your house and forcing you to talk to me (I'll have a 6-pack, because I can't do emotionally vulnerable things without my inhibitions lowered).

If it helps, I know you're not going to break up with her, and the fact that you won me over so fast made you lose all interest in me. I fully expect to get rejected and end up feeling crushed, jealous, and inferior. What I really just want is an explanation of why you are staying with her even though you said you don't have much to talk about with her, you could never imagine marrying her, and she lives two thousand miles away. I want to know why that is so much better than what I have to offer. I can't keep feeling like I'm being strung along, because it keeps the smallest bit of hope alive in me, even though I know better. I need to feel the depressing familiarity of singleness and black future of being an old maid to help me get over you. So throw me a bone, and reject me straightforwardly, rather than continuing to totally ignore the subject. Man up.

Wishing I didn't like you,
R