Dear Weekend,

Although you were quite eventful, I would rather not have another one like you for a VERY long time. Between the 3-year-old's ballerina/ninja birthday party extravaganza, and the ghetto-licious and ghetto-fabulous super baby shower, I am EXHAUSTED. Who knew throwing parties was so much damn work???

But you weren't a total bust:
1) I got to see my mom try to fit through the tiny entrance of the jumper and get her big ol' booty stuck. (where in the HELL was my camera??)
2) I saw a wrestling match between two toddlers over a jolly rancher
3) My cat got chased by a small crowd of sugar-hyped pre-Ks
and 4) I just so happened to hire a party clown that was an ex-break dancer. Needless to say, now all the kids know what "the helicopter" looks like.

..and at the baby shower:
1) I almost got in a fight with one of the great-aunts over whether the mystery baby food was butternut squash or pumpkin, and then when I showed her the label, she alleged that I had switched it "just to get on her nerves"
2) On the cake, the family had the baker put "It's a Lil Hoochie Mama!" (As if "it's a girl" was just too politically correct)
3) One of the gifts were a pair of shorts that they kept calling "baby's first daisy dukes"
4) Everyone at the party kept insisting that I give them all gifts for coming. (Since when do you get a gift for ATTENDING a baby shower? *shrugs*)
and 5) The grandma accused me of putting the blind fold on too tight and messing up one of her fake eyelashes


So how about we just keep it at arms distance for awhile, Mr. Crazy Weekend. I need a break, but I'll holla at you in a few weeks after I regain my strength and sanity.

Until we meet again,

No comments: