Dear Weekend,

Although you were quite eventful, I would rather not have another one like you for a VERY long time. Between the 3-year-old's ballerina/ninja birthday party extravaganza, and the ghetto-licious and ghetto-fabulous super baby shower, I am EXHAUSTED. Who knew throwing parties was so much damn work???

But you weren't a total bust:
1) I got to see my mom try to fit through the tiny entrance of the jumper and get her big ol' booty stuck. (where in the HELL was my camera??)
2) I saw a wrestling match between two toddlers over a jolly rancher
3) My cat got chased by a small crowd of sugar-hyped pre-Ks
and 4) I just so happened to hire a party clown that was an ex-break dancer. Needless to say, now all the kids know what "the helicopter" looks like.

..and at the baby shower:
1) I almost got in a fight with one of the great-aunts over whether the mystery baby food was butternut squash or pumpkin, and then when I showed her the label, she alleged that I had switched it "just to get on her nerves"
2) On the cake, the family had the baker put "It's a Lil Hoochie Mama!" (As if "it's a girl" was just too politically correct)
3) One of the gifts were a pair of shorts that they kept calling "baby's first daisy dukes"
4) Everyone at the party kept insisting that I give them all gifts for coming. (Since when do you get a gift for ATTENDING a baby shower? *shrugs*)
and 5) The grandma accused me of putting the blind fold on too tight and messing up one of her fake eyelashes

*sigh*

So how about we just keep it at arms distance for awhile, Mr. Crazy Weekend. I need a break, but I'll holla at you in a few weeks after I regain my strength and sanity.

Until we meet again,
TR