Dear DC Cabbie Who Better Watch His Fucking Back and Keep His Kids in the House:

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! ROLLING MY ARM UP IN THE WINDOW AND DRAGGING ME HALF A BLOCK?!??! YOU RUINED MY LIGHT-UP STRIPPER SHOES, YOU DOUCHELORD!!! And no one even got your info!!!! (Mostly b/c they were watching my shoes do a fucking disco light show.)

It's on, bitch. I am going to fucking rain all over the DC Cab Association or whatever that shit is called. I used to be a fucking personal injury lawyer, you sorry sack of shit. I can't find you, but I'm going to fuck over the rest of your kind.

I will kill the next asshole who has the balls to ask where I'm going before he lets me in the cab, I swear to fucking Vishnu,


CF said...

ALSKDFJSJKDJ!!! outrageous. i'm with you 100% - dc cabbies need to get a fucking clue! (also, i bet you a jillion dollars he didn't have a meter yet, did he?)

Anonymous said...

Rule # 1 - make friendly conversation about the weather, the night, the cab business...anything but where you're going until you're firmly seatbelted in place.

Rule # 2 - if you are travelling in a group of drunks, least drunk waves the cab down while the rest hide...second least drunk then leaps in front of the cab after it's stopped...then everybody piles in before the poor bastard has time to run over 2nd closest to sober

rule #3 - move to NY or SF where the cabs are cabs and the people aren't hideous


Anonymous said...

i hate cabbies. they suck ALL THE TIME. out of all the taxis i have taken, the ONLY one that was great was the cab ride my bf and me too in N'awlins aka the big easy. that old man was soooo nice. even gave us correct change and dropped us off right at the front door. good times... :)

Anonymous said...

ummmm what??? How does that happen? Also why do ex-lawyers wear light up stripper shoes???

Anonymous said...

Ex-lawyers wear light-up stripper shoes because light-up stripper shoes are fucking boss.