Dear guy friend who I have never met in person,

It seriously amazes me that we have "known" each other (online) for about 2.5 years now and I still have never met you (maybe because you live on the East Coast and I, the opposite). But I must say, when I have beef with my bf because he said/did something stupid, you totally sympathize and that rocks. Also, the fact that your live-in gf is a raving biatch (it seems), it makes it that much easier for me to seem like a stellar femme-bot in comparison. Sweet!

Anyway, it's good to know that since our significant others have so many very similar character traits and flaws, it confirms our belief that all of this is an experiment by the Feds to create a real-life version of The Matrix, which we are now participating in.

Oh yeah, and thanks for the text this morning at 5am to tell me that your gf was mad at you (again) because you told her that her brakes were bad. Haha, that's a way to get the day started! :)

So stay cool and lets not turn this into something awkward, mmkay? Cool.

Talk to you later, for sure. Especially if my bf acts a fool, as usual.
TR