Dear People Who Make Slow Left Turns,

What the fuck? YOU are risking life because I am closely following behind you while you take your sweet ass time. How am I supposed to defensive drive when YOU are going so fucking slow?! You know, if you wouldn't take your damn turns being Miss Safety Patrol at the speed grass grows, I wouldn't be scared for my life when I aggressively dart behind you trying to squeeze in as well. Basically, its all your fault and def not mine. Be more aggressive, you pussies. You are going to have me killed in the process of trying to drive with such precaution.

Good thing I know this sweet maneuver in which I hide the majority of my car behind yours so that if we get hit, you're getting it first.
A