Dear Finding Three LONGASS White Hairs On My Head In The Bathroom At Work,

Please, no!!! Don't ruin my youthful chocolaty brown locks. Oh God, why is this happening?!?!

Vowing To Stop Worrying Sofa King Much And Smoking More Pot,
A

P.S. If one of you pop up on my downtown, I am throwing myself into a pit of cobras.