Dear semi-attractive (but getting less attractive by the moment) construction worker,

Okay, seriously. Do your job. There is only room for one creepster in this office and that spot is already filled by the boss's son, Creepy McCreeperson Jr. He has provided me with enough amusing/puzzling/frightening stories for a lifetime, so you better just step off.

I'd hate (love) to see you two fight it out,

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