Dear Two Year Old Baby I Am Supposed To Be Watching,

Look kid, I am not your effin motha, learn to shit in a toilet already. If you can talk as much as a four year old, and weigh as much as one too, pretty sure you can pull down your pants to take a shit. You know how to do everything else, how is it so hard to take a doo on your own? Is it because your family is excessively overweight and it just runs in your genes to be lazy?

Still regretting getting up at 6 am for your ass,

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