Deear Sorbiriety:

You are hightly overrated. Fortunately for me, the wedding reception I jsust went to had free wine.b eer and I drank a lot of wine. So I drunk IMed the engaged cowekorer and said I wiasnted to say inappropriate things to him; I called the estranged boyfriedn nad said I siwhed he ploved me; and I drunk dialed bthe freind with beenefits to tell him bhappy birthaday and that I hoped he was thikning of me, haha.

The best wpart???? M y phwhole family was witness to the inebriatedion. Inebriation. I do-si-do-ed with my bro, wished the bride good luick like twenty millino times, and didn't care. My mom even joined the congan line. Ergo: you are overrrated!

Um, what? I shoudl be passed out now,
R

PS My darling A, I love you.