Dear Life,

Why do you suck so much all of a sudden? Less than 2 months ago, I was dating the love of of my life, I had a job that was annoying and boring but secure, and I was looking better and better due to exercise and eating lots of fresh veggies and fruit and downing multivitamins every morning. I was looking forward to starting grad school, I was quitting smoking, getting healthy, and everything was fucking perfect. Then.... I got dumped. And then fired. Since then, I've stopped working out, I've stopped eating anything healthy, and I've spent my days on the couch watching TV on DVD and chainsmoking while getting high or drinking beers by myself. My whole social circle is screwed up because everyone broke up with everyone else, I can't go to all my old haunts because the EX might be there, and my self esteem is shattered. WTF? Listen, you need to just calm down and take it easy here. You've already proven yourself to be a raging bitch, but kicking a girl while she's down is just plain wrong. So, throw a dog a bone and get me hired, or send me a new boy, or SOMETHING FOR FUCK's SAKE YOU FUCKING CUNT. Thanks for listening.

Life sucks,

P.S. I am glad that I've gotten so skinny due to the loss of appetite and complete apathy when it comes to obtaining food. Thanks for that, at least.

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