Dear Friends of My Boyfriend Who Are Getting Married,

Why do you hate your wedding guests? I can only assume you do since you are making them attend your wedding in bumblefuck. Have you ever heard of a city? Weddings tend to be nicer when you don't have to stare out the window at cows. And you get nicer gifts when your guests haven't spend $500 on two flights to get to you.

Hating you for making me drive to Tennessee,
The girl who will be drinking all your open bar

P.S. Off topic but thanks to A for cutting some of you off. You're supposed to make me laugh when I'm bored at work, not wonder what the hell you are talking about.