Dear G. Boyfriend,

It's a cold, okay? Get over it. There was zero need to treat me like I was fuckin diseased last night. Everytime my germy hands reached near you you couldn't hide your wincing face and then your immediate sigh as you realized I was only grabbing for my napkin. I felt like I had leprosy when I told your friends at dinner that I had a cold and you interjected with "It's just allergies!!!" because you felt like they would accept me more if they knew I wasn't a walking pathogen. How embarassing! What the HELL kinda BF are you?! My raspy voice is sexy...and so is my red, runny nose. Get off me.

See If I Talk To You When I'm Well,
A

P.S. Be more supportive or I'm gonna blow a snot-rocket on your face.