Dear John Mayer,

My sincerest apologies for belligerently yelling "WHERE'S JESSICA?!?!!!!!" after ever other song tonight. I don't think you were amused.

Seriously though... she's the only thing that makes you interesting and where the fuck is she?

Also, I'm completely astonished that you single handedly sold out an entire ampitheater on your own merit. And PS- your mouth contorts in really strange ways and I don't like it one bit.

I mean... whatev,
G