Dear Marriage,

Stop ruining every guy I show interest in pasts! You are supposed to be an instutition of love and trust . . . instead you cause heartache and irreversible trauma to the hearts of the men I want a shot at ruining. I respect the men who are mature enough to get married, yet all you do is ruin their good nature and hopelessly romantic idea of love (or at least mine). Go pick on another gender, preferably women (which I am not looking to date).

Throw me a frickin bone here!
Mo