Dear Strangers Whose House I Went To Dinner At Last Night,

I just realized that you probably thought I was raging lesbian due to my dinner conversation. Apparently the professor that we both know which I was saying I had a major girlcrush on is actually homosexual. Maybe I shouldn't have laid it on so thick about how incredibly sexy I thought she was, but I couldn't help it, she's bangin! I just wasn't aware she liked girls.

Whateve, She's Still Hot,
A